Friday, June 11, 2010

Psychic Omelette

It's never the recipe. It's always the cook.

That's the theme of this blog. Let's see how that works with an omelette. What is an omelette, exactly? Well, an omelette is several unborn chickens whipped into a single embryonic mass, brought slowly from liquid to solid state through the application of controlled heat.

How hot? How slow or fast do you cook the omelette? That's all a matter of exactitute, and only practice will give the answers there. But...let's look at the facts. You can watch my video on how to make a great omelette somewhere on youtube but here are the basics:

1. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. This is a well-known truth, and it goes much deeper than you think. But first, you have to catch the chicken. If you run free-range chickens at your house, you might be serving breakfast a little later than if you buy your eggs in a grocery outlet. I buy mine from a neighbor who runs free-range and grows organic.

2. Break the eggs right. Don't hit them with a fork -- that's tacky, and it gets eggshell into your omelette...not that eggshell is a bad thing; actually the calcium is good for you and you can use your eggshells to acquire calcium if you's just that eggshell has a certain "je ne se quoi" about it when added to an omelette. What I mean is, the texture is definitely affected by the crunch. So break the eggs on the side of the pan or preferably on the rim of your heavy pyrex glass egg bowl into which you spill the contents of your broken eggs. If you use a clear glass bowl, you can pick out pieces of eggshell that have gotten past your expert breakage. After some practice, about 150 eggs into it, you shouldn't get eggshell bits into the mix anymore.

3. Break three eggs at a time and spill the contents into the egg bowl.

4. Using an ordinary table fork, gently whip the eggs, lifting them into the air slightly to get some air into the mix. Do this for only as long as it takes to get a fairly uniform mix.

5. In a pre-heated PROFESSIONAL omelette pan (you'll need a mitt type cover for the handle of one of these babies and, no, you can't make do with a piece of crap consumer type pan if you want to make a truly great omelette) over a medium-hot flame, add your butter, margerine, hemp oil or whatever you prefer as a pan-greaser, or nothing whatever if you're using a non-stick pan. I like the hemp, coconut or olive oil best, but hey, it's your body.

6. When the greasy or oily stuff has melted and covers the bottom of the pan fully, slowly fold the eggs into the bottom of the pan, and roll the pan slightly to get full coverage of the bottom of the pan.

7. Let the eggs harden a bit with the heat. You'll notice a slightly more cooked appearance at the edges of the pan...depending on how the pan sits on the flame -- it should be precisely at the center of the burner to assure even heating -- you'll note that the egg will cook faster at the edges. As this occurs, fold the cooked portion into the center, and roll the pan a bit to get the soupier more liquid egg out to the edge of the pan.

8. It's at this point that you begin chanting "OM MANI PADME HUM" until the omelette has cooked to your satisfaction on the topside. Then with a deft scoop of the spatula, send the omelette into the air slightly, just enough to flip it over, and get the pan under it to catch the turned-over omelette just right. This takes a bit of practice. The omelette will always have the same look to it at the exact right turning need to observe it with your full attention to determine when that will be. There's a bubbling effect just before the turn point. Think like an alchemist to get this right.

9. When the omelette is firm, but not overcooked, and definitely NOT browned, it's time to turn it over again for a moment or two, add your internal ingredients such as cheese, yogurt, green peppers or whatever, then fold the omelette in half, slip it onto a prepared plate with all your other items already on it, add pepper or topping to taste, and serve. Now you can stop chanting "OM MANI PADME HUM". You have fulfilled your Way of Service for the moment. And that's how a psychic makes a great omelette.

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